Hip-hop music glorifies the “ride or die chick” as the ideal woman that women should strive to be in their relationships with men.

Judging by the lyrics of these ridiculous songs, this means that women are expected to have casual sex with men that they aren’t married to, love and coddle grown men who refuse to be law-abiding citizens, aid and abet such men in criminal activities, settle for a promiscuous man (who has children all over the place) and tolerate all of the drama that comes with promiscuous playboy behavior, place themselves (and their children) in danger by fooling with dysfunctional animalistic violent men, give diehard loyalty to men who do not marry them, settle for the “wifey” title as if it makes them special, and “stand by their man” while suffering through years of emotional turmoil, abuse, drama, manipulation, constant lying, childish behavior, post traumatic stress disorder, financial instability and outright craziness.

Ladies, some of you have been told that by putting up with this wretched chaotic self-serving behavior, that you are being “loyal” to your ‘man.’ #NoFelicia

That is not “loyalty.” That is settling for a toxic unstable bottom feeder and a life of sorrow and mediocrity.

You are not a doormat, an ATM machine, a motel or a “kick it spot” for some man and his “homeboys,” a Taxi service or a chauffeur for a grown man (his “homeboys” and relatives), an accomplice, an enabler, a sex toy, or a baby-making machine.

You were created in the image of God and you are more valuable than all of the diamonds in the world.

elegantladyIf a man tells you that he needs a ride or die chick, a “down chick”, or any sort of “chick” that would put up with trifling behavior, support his bad decisions, and put him before your own well-being, aspirations and personal relationship with God. . . . you need to RUN.

Loyalty is a good thing, but ONLY when it is properly placed.

Do not give your loyalty to a promiscuous playboy who has an unofficial harem of women and/or babies all over the place.

Do not give your loyalty to a man who wants to fornicate with you, make you his personal sex toy, impregnate you with out of wedlock children and move onto the next unsuspecting woman.

Do not give your loyalty to an animalistic man who is undisciplined and has no self-control over his sexual urges.

Do not give your loyalty to a man who acts like a thug (whether he actually is a thug or just pretends to be one), a hustler, commits crimes, despises civil authorities, glorifies hood behavior/street culture/criminals, and refuses to be a law-abiding citizen and earn an honest living.

Do not give your loyalty to a man who wants to live with you unmarried and play house.

Do not give your loyalty to an anti-intellectual man who talks down on education, academic pursuits, lifelong learning, is jealous of your academic accomplishments, and discourages you from going to school and reaching your academic goals.

Do not give your loyalty to a man who is abusive, threatening, violent, overly aggressive and dangerous, and condones violence against women and children.

Do not give your loyalty to dishonest slick man who breathe lies, manipulation, concealment and can’t get his story straight.

Do not give your loyalty to a broke gold-digging financially unstable man who would use you for a place to stay, save money, eat for free, drive your car, borrow money, or financially use you in any manner.

Do not give your loyalty to a man who expects you to treat him like you’re married to him, yet he refuses to marry you and give you his last name.

The vow to love a man “in sickness and in health, for better or for worse” only applies to MARRIAGE — not “boyfriend/girlfriend relationships” “dating” “talking” or “just kicking it.”

Don’t ever let some self-entitled man convince you to give him a level of loyalty that is only reserved for a HUSBAND and WIFE.

Do not give a man the benefits of marriage if he has not married you and given you his last name. Calling you his “wifey” does not count. And saying that he “plans on marrying you some day” does not count either. I say this because some men out there expect MARITAL LOYALTY without a marriage covenant. And sadly, some of you ladies are actually giving it to them! Please STOP, cease and desist this sort of behavior immediately.

Marital loyalty, perks, and benefits are reserved for MARRIAGE ONLY.

Too many women (and children) have been hurt, abused, used, torn apart, destroyed and even murdered, all because they were trying to be a “ride or die chick” to a crazy dysfunctional man.

Too many women think that they have to settle for bottom-of-the-barrel men, lower their standards, and put up with trauma and insanity in order to be “down” “supportive” and “loyal” to men who don’t care about them. This must stop.

You don’t have to accept chaos and drama. You can be at peace.

You don’t have to accept heartbreak and depressed feelings. You can be happy.

You don’t have to accept constant setbacks and dreams deferred. You can progress and move forward in life.

You don’t have to accept being a doormat. You can be valued, loved, appreciated and cherished.

You don’t have to accept the pain, suffering and drama that comes with being a “ride or die chick.” You can be an elegant woman who is protected, provided for, and treated like the beautiful rose that you are.

3 thoughts on “Don’t Be A “Ride or Die Chick” [Set Free Femininity]

  1. This is an insightful peace. God bless you a lot. But I really want to know; what if a woman is already married to a man who has all the negative qualities you mentioned minus violence against women and children, what is she to do?

    1. Hello there,

      Thank you for reading and commenting. Every marriage is unique, so there is no one-size-fits-all answer for what a person in a toxic marriage should do. If a woman is in a toxic marriage, I would suggest that she seek objective counsel from a professional or someone who is experienced in counseling married couples (but not someone at her church, because this can sometimes lead to gossip, intrusive meddling, lack of objectivity, and a personal bias or partiality shown towards one of the spouses).

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