Temporal Blessings Are Not The Gospel


God can bless you with children, but having children isn’t a part of the Gospel message. Some saints cannot conceive, some do not desire children, and others had to bury their children.

God can bless you with a good job, but having a good job isn’t a part of the Gospel message. Some saints do not have a good job and others do not have a job at all.

God can bless you with a spouse and a good marriage, but having a spouse and a good marriage aren’t a part of the Gospel message. Some saints are single, some do not desire marriage, and others do not have a good marriage.

God can bless you with wealth, but having wealth is not a part of the Gospel message. Many saints are not wealthy, some do not desire wealth, and others have lost their wealth for the sake of Christ due to persecution.

God can bless us with many things in this world, but these things are not the Gospel message.

When we turn temporal blessings into the Gospel message, we are adding onto Christ’s finished work on the Cross and changing the Gospel message which makes it “no good news at all” (Galatians 1). Scripture firmly forbids this.

There is a danger in turning temporal blessings into the Gospel message:

1) It creates a false standard of “salvation” or “blessedness” that many saints will not measure up to because they do not have the temporal blessings that were added onto Christ’s finished work on the Cross. This leads saints who adhere to this false standard of “salvation” or “blessedness” to unrighteously judge other saints who do not have these temporal blessings as “unsaved” “lacking faith to claim the promises of God” “less spiritual” or “in sin or disobedience.”

2) It leads saints to be puffed up against one another and think that they are spiritually-superior or “more favored by God” than saints who do not have these temporal blessings.

3) It draws the focus away from Christ and places it on temporal things, which leads to covetousness and idolatry.

4) Most tragic of all, it empties the Cross of Christ of its power by adding onto Christ’s finished work on the Cross which dilutes the pure unadulterated Gospel message. The Gospel that Jesus and the apostles preached is to be proclaimed in its PURE UNADULTERATED FORM, not modified to suit our temporal desires and circumstances.

Temporal blessings can change because they are not immutable/unchanging — only God is immutable/unchanging. Children can change. Your spouse can change. Your marriage can change. Your job, career, or employment status can change. Your financial status can change. But one thing that will never change is the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus Christ which is the Gospel message.

It is through Christ’s finished work on the Cross that we are saved, reconciled with God, made right with God, receive the Holy Spirit, set-apart and anointed, made complete through our union with Jesus, blessed, and pass from death to eternal life. Notice that every blessing of the Gospel is hidden in Christ in Heaven. This is why the Scripture says “Since you have been raised to new life with Christ, set your sights on the realities of heaven, where Christ sits in the place of honor at God’s right hand. Think about the things of heaven, not the things of earth. For you died to this life, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God.” (Colossians 3:1-3)

I thank God for the blessings He has given me, because I know that it is only by His mercy and grace that I receive anything. Being justified before God and knowing that the Creator is a gracious and merciful God who personally entered into His own creation to demonstrate His love by paying the price for OUR SINS so that we can be saved, is the best thing to ever happen to me. There is no greater revelation that I can receive, and there is no greater blessing than that. I have experienced the abundant life that Jesus spoke of in John 10. I have seen and felt His goodness. Even when everything in my life is going wrong, the Holy Spirit within me rejoices in the Son of God, and it is there that I find my contentment — not in the temporal blessings.

Temporal blessings have their place, but they should never sit in the place of Christ and the Gospel on the throne of your heart.

If your salvation is based on a false ‘gospel’ of Jesus+temporal things, your faith can be shaken because temporal things change. But if your salvation is based on the death, burial, and resurrection of Christ — your faith is rooted by a steadfast anchor and an immovable rock. For Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever. He does not change, and His redemptive work on the Cross does not change. “It is finished.”

May our faith rest in Christ alone and His finished work on the Cross, and not in temporal blessings that are not eternal and are subject to change.


‪#‎JesusIsTheGospel‬ ‪#‎NotTemporalThings‬ ‪#‎DontAddOntoTheCross‬

Does Your Pastor Have a Moses-Complex??

Many religious leaders today are having an identity crisis. . . . they have a MOSES-COMPLEX.

identity crisis

Signs That Your Pastor Has a Moses-Complex

1. Your pastor believes that he has the SAME spiritual status, rank, authority, and ‘prophetic mantle’ as Moses.

2. Your pastor flaunts his supposed ‘authority’ over the congregation and justifies it by saying “God ordained me to rule over this church just as He ordained Moses to rule over Israel.”

3. Your pastor portrays himself as “God’s appointed mouthpiece/prophet to the church” and tries to parallel it with God appointing Moses as a prophet to Israel.

4. Your pastor implies that he’s “more anointed” than everyone else and tries to justify his conceit by quoting [out of context] the Scripture where God took the Spirit upon Moses and anointed 70 elders.

5. Your pastor claims that anyone who says anything “negative” about him and “puts their mouth on the man of God” will come under a curse. He justifies this by pointing to the Scripture where God struck Miriam with leprosy for speaking against Moses. This scare tactic is meant to frighten you from discerning his fruit and holding him accountable to God’s word for teaching error and living in sin.

6. Your pastor calls himself your “spiritual covering” and tries to justify it by claiming that “Moses was the spiritual covering of Joshua and the children of Israel.”

7. Your pastor is an untouchable “pope” at the top of a church-pyramid where he isn’t accountable to the congregation. He says that he’s accountable to God alone and tries to justify his top-down authority structure by pointing to the Old Covenant Moses-model of leadership.

8. Your pastor has ‘ministry assistants’ waiting on him hand and foot as if he’s a king or a religious diva. He tries to rationalize this by saying “Moses delegated authority to leaders who served under him. They learned humility by serving. You can’t have authority without submitting to the authority of the man of God.”

9. Your pastor believes that he represents God in your life “just as Moses represented God before the children of Israel.”

10. Your pastor believes that anyone who tries to minister “without his permission” is “usurping his authority’ and trying to take over *HIS* ‘church’ “just like Korah usurped Moses’ authority and wanted to take Moses’ position over Israel.” Insecure paranoid leaders use this tactic to keep their position on lock and control who goes into ministry.


11. Your pastor believes that when he speaks, it is the same thing as God speaking — therefore if you don’t listen to him and do what he says, God will punish you and the devil will wreak havoc in your life.  This is all rationalized by the following line of thought, “God put His word in Moses’ mouth. Therefore when Moses spoke, it was actually God speaking. And anyone who didn’t listen to Moses was punished and died in the wilderness. Since the pastor is as Moses over the church, you must obey the man of God.”

12. Your pastor believes that the life and ministry of Moses foreshadowed him and his ministry.

The word “foreshadow” means “to indicate or suggest in advance; to show or represent beforehand by a figure or type.” Foreshadowing [as this very word implies] is when the shadow of an object is thrown before the advancing object itself, in order to present an image of that which is to come. The purpose of foreshadowing is to give a hint or a sign of something that will happen later.

In the Old Testament, God used various individuals, objects, and events to foreshadow New Testament events, the body of Christ, and above all Jesus Himself. It can be said that the Old Testament was intended to give God’s people a sneak preview of Jesus Christ and things to come.

One example of foreshadowing is Noah’s ark which pointed to Christ as the Ark of Salvation. Another example of foreshadowing is the Old Covenant Passover lamb which pointed to Christ as the Lamb of God.

Religious leaders who believe that Moses foreshadowed themselves are guilty of blasphemy and idolatry. How so? Because Moses Foreshadowed Jesus Christ.

Moses & Jesus

The Scriptures clearly teach that the life and ministry of Moses foreshadowed Jesus Christ.

In Deuteronomy 18:15, Moses said “The Lord your God will raise up for you a prophet like me from among your fellow Israelites. You must listen to him.

Then a few verses down in Deuteronomy 18:18-19, God reaffirmed that He would raise up a prophet like Moses “I will raise up a prophet like you from among their fellow Israelites. I will put my words in his mouth, and he will tell the people everything I command him. I will personally deal with anyone who will not listen to the messages the prophet proclaims on my behalf.”

The Scriptures above show that God promised to raise up a prophet like Moses. This prophet and His message would be so important that God will personally deal with anyone who rejects Him.

My friends, this prophet is not your local pastor who erroneously sees himself as “the 2nd coming of Moses.” It is the Lord Jesus Christ.

Let’s take a look at the similarities between Moses & Christ 

1. Moses was an Israelite, and according to the flesh, Christ was an Israelite.

2. Satan tried to murder both Moses and Christ while they were infants to prevent the deliverance of God’s people (Exodus 1:15-22; Matthew 2:16-18).

3. Both Moses and Christ were born while the children of Israel suffered under the domination and bondage of Gentile rule (Exodus 1:8-10; Luke 2:1-5).

4. Both Moses and Christ spent their early years in Egypt (Exodus; Matthew 2:13-15).

5. Both Moses and Christ were brought up by men who were not their biological fathers (Exodus 2:9-10; Luke 2:33). Moses was raised by Pharaoh and his daughter, and Christ was raised by Joseph.

6. Both Moses and Christ saw the burdens of their Israelite brethren and had compassion on them (Exodus 2:11; Mark 6:34).

7. Both Moses and Christ sat at a well to rest, and were kind to women by offering them water. Moses watered the flocks of the the daughters of the priest of Midian. And Christ offered living water to the Samaritan woman (Exodus 2:15-17; John 4:5-15). Both went outside of cultural customs by speaking with women.

8. Both Moses and Christ performed extraordinary miracles to confirm God’s word and prove that they were sent by the Father (Exodus 4:1-9; Exodus 4:28-31; Exodus 14:31; Deuteronomy 34:10-12; Mark 2:10-11; John 3:1-2; John 5:36; John 10:37-38, John 14:10-11; John 20:30-31; Acts 2:22).

9. Both Moses and Christ gave God’s people the law/covenant. The Old law/covenant came through Moses, and the New law/covenant came through Christ (Exodus 24:8; Joshua 23:6; Hebrews 12:24; Hebrews 13:20; Matthew 26:26-28; Romans 8:2; Galatians 6:2).

10. The law/covenant of Moses was inaugurated by the blood of animals, and the law/covenant of Christ was inaugurated by His own blood (Exodus 24:8; Hebrews 9:11-22).

11. Both Moses and Christ were transfigured on the top of a mountain (Exodus 34:29-35; Matthew 17:1-3).

12. The children of Israel rejected Moses and Christ and wanted to kill them both (Exodus 17:1-4; Mark 15:12-14; John 1:10-11; John 58-59).

13. Both Moses and Christ chose 12 men, then appointed 70 others (Deuteronomy 1:23; Mark 3:14; Numbers 11:15; Luke 10:1).

14. Both Moses and Christ forsook riches and made themselves poor servants, choosing instead to suffer persecution with God’s people as sojourners in this world (2 Corinthians 8:9; Hebrews 11:24-26; Philippians 2:5-8).

17. Moses was a shepherd, and Christ is our Good Shepherd (Exodus 3:1; John 10).

18. Moses was called to deliver God’s people from slavery in Egypt (Exodus 3:10). Jesus was called to deliver people from slavery to sin and out of spiritual Egypt (Luke 4:18-19; Luke 19:10; John 8:31-36, Acts 7:35).

19. Moses was a ruler of Israel, and Christ is our Ruler (Acts 7:35; Micah 5:2; Matthew 2:5-6).

20. The children of Israel were baptized into Moses and Believers are baptized into Christ (1 Corinthians 10:1-2; Mark 1:8; 1 Corinthians 12:13; Romans 6:4; Ephesians 4:5; Colossians 2:12).

21. Both Moses and Christ fasted for 40 days and 40 nights (Exodus 34:28; Matthew 4:1-2).

22. Both Moses and Christ washed their brethren with water to consecrate them for service unto God (Leviticus 8:6; John 13:3-5).

23. Both Moses and Christ interceded for God’s people (Exodus 32:9-14; Deuteronomy 9:25-27; Numbers 14:11-20; Numbers 21:7; Luke 23:34; Romans 8:34; Hebrews 7:25).

24. Both Moses and Christ are noted in Scripture for their humility (Numbers 12:3; Philippians 2:5-11).

These similarities are not a coincidence. God orchestrated the life and ministry of Moses so that it would foreshadow the life and ministry of Jesus Christ. The apostles understood this very well and proclaimed that Jesus is the Prophet who would be like Moses (Acts 3:22-23; Acts 7:37).

“Philip went to look for Nathanael and told him, “We have found the very person Moses and the prophets wrote about! His name is Jesus, the son of Joseph from Nazareth.” (John 1:45)

“If you really believed Moses, you would believe me, because he wrote about me.” (John 5:46)

“For He [Jesus] was faithful to God, who appointed Him, just as Moses served faithfully when he was entrusted with God’s entire house. But Jesus deserves far more glory than Moses, just as a person who builds a house deserves more praise than the house itself. For every house has a builder, but the one who built everything is God. Moses was certainly faithful in God’s house as a servant. His work was an illustration of the truths God would reveal later. But Christ, as the Son, is in charge of God’s entire house. And we are God’s house, if we keep our courage and remain confident in our hope in Christ.” (Hebrews 3:2-6)

Moses, Jesus, & The Pharisees

Jesus often ran into conflicts with the scribes and Pharisees because of their pride, hypocrisy, and spiritual blindness.

One of the manifestations of their pride was that they assumed upon themselves the authority of Moses: “Then Jesus spoke to the crowds and to His disciples, saying: “The scribes and Pharisees have SEATED THEMSELVES in the chair of Moses.” (Matthew 23:1-2)

The term “chair of Moses” or “Moses seat” isn’t referring to a literal chair that Moses sat on. It’s an expression which refers to the authority of Moses to teach the law of God and lead the children of Israel.

The scribes and Pharisees wanted the same authority that God gave Moses to teach the law and be leaders over Israel. Yet God did not appoint them to the chair of Moses — they were self-appointed as Jesus said, they “have seated themselves.

Similarly, many religious leaders today want the authority of Moses, so they sit themselves in the chair of Moses. Yet God has not appointed them. The only one with authority from the Father to sit in the chair of Moses is Jesus Christ.

The scribes and Pharisees exalted themselves as stellar examples of obedience to the law of Moses and official interpreters of the law. Yet they side-stepped God’s commandments and canceled them out for the sake of keeping their own false traditions (Mark 7:1-13).

In like manner, many religious leaders today consider themselves to be the greatest examples of obedience to Jesus and expert interpreters of His teachings. However, they render the teachings of Jesus null and void by substituting them with their own customs, ideas, and concepts.

Whereas Moses was humble, the scribes and Pharisees were prideful: Everything they do is for show. On their arms they wear extra wide prayer boxes with Scripture verses inside, and they wear robes with extra long tassels. And they love to sit at the head table at banquets and in the seats of honor in the synagogues. They love to receive respectful greetings as they walk in the marketplaces, and to be called ‘Rabbi’ [meaning ‘my Great One, Master’]. Don’t let anyone call you ‘Rabbi,’ for you have only one Teacher, and all of you are equal as brothers and sisters.” (Matthew 23:5-8)

The pompous behavior of the Pharisees is a mirror image of today’s leadership. Yet ironically, they consider themselves to be a modern-day Moses, but where is their humility? Show me in Scripture where Moses power-postured over others by emphasizing his authority, rank, position, anointing, gifts, and revelation knowledge.  Show me in Scripture where Moses had people call him by honorific titles and elevate him by sitting him in the highest seats. Moses did no such thing, but many ‘pastors’ today do and have the audacity to fancy themselves as a modern-day Moses.

Where Does The Moses-complex Come From?

The answer can be found in 2 Corinthians 3:14-16: “But their minds were hardened, and to this day whenever the old covenant is being read, the same veil covers their minds so they cannot understand the truth. And this veil can be removed only by believing in Christ. Yes, even today when they read Moses’ writings, their hearts are covered with that veil, and they do not understand. But whenever someone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away.” 


It may sound striking to you. . . . but the fact of the matter is, many religious leaders today think they’re Moses because their minds are hardened and their hearts are covered with a veil so that they do not understand the truth. They TALK about Christ, but they have not yet turned to Christ — otherwise, He would have lifted the veil from their hearts so that they can understand His word.

How else can one explain the blasphemous mentality of leaders who think they are “as Moses/Jesus” over the household of God? Is this mentality indicative of someone who has turned to Christ? Or is it indicative of someone who does not know Him? Indeed someone does not know Christ if they are blaspheming Him by attempting to sit in the chair of Moses.

Their minds are hardened, which is why they do not understand the Scriptures about Moses and the entire Old Covenant in general which foreshadowed Jesus Christ. In their blindness and arrogance — they believe that the Scriptures about Moses testify of themselves, and they use the Old Testament as a footnote for self-exalting sermons.

It is only when someone humbles themselves and turns to the Lord that He removes the veil which covers their heart. Then the eyes of their understanding will be enlightened, and they will see Jesus Christ proclaimed all throughout the Old Testament.

“You search the Scriptures because you think they give you eternal life. But the Scriptures point to ME! Yet you refuse to come to me so that you may have life.” (John 5:39-49)


Cleave To Your Spouse, Not Your PASTOR

husband and wife





“But there is one thing I want you to know: the head of every man is Christ, the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.” (1 Corinthians 11:3) 

For a husband is the head of his wife, as Christ is the Head and Savior of His assembly, which is His own body.” (Ephesians 5:23)

The passages above lay out the order of headship in a Christian marriage. Our heavenly Father is the head of Christ, Christ is the head of the husband, and the husband is the head of his wife.

Notice that NOWHERE in this order of headship is a pastor listed. That’s right. Contrary to what is often taught and practiced in many churches today, pastors aren’t the head of husbands nor another man’s wife.

Husbands: If your pastor has been lifted up to the place of Christ as your head, you are OUT OF ORDER.

Wives: If your pastor has been lifted up to the place of your husband as your head, you are OUT OF ORDER.

Due to idolatry and false teaching, the family unit has been disordered and headship is being usurped/undermined.

Elders/pastors are servants of Christ. Not the head of a husband and another man’s wife.

The order is: The Father—>Christ—->Husband—>Wife

Ephesians 5:21-33 explains that the relationship between a husband and his wife is meant to serve as an illustration of Christ’s relationship to His bride. Just as Christ is the Head of His bride, husbands are the head of their wives. And just as we are to submit to the Lord, wives are to submit to their husbands and respect them. But unfortunately, many husbands and wives today dishonor the Lord and their spouse by putting their pastor before God and their marriage.

I love my pastor

For example, I have seen husbands and wives spend more time, energy, and resources “supporting the pastor’s vision” than supporting their own spouse and their vision for the family.

Without question or hesitation, they are ready to sacrifice their time, talents, energy, and money to fulfill the “vision” of a religious leader. But where is this level of zeal to support their own spouse?

Husbands and wives who are more supportive of a religious leader than their own spouse are OUT OF ORDER. The pastor’s vision to buy a BIGGER building or more buildings does not come before your spouse’s desire to start a business, buy a house, or go back to school. You cannot use God or “ministry” as an excuse to put a leader before your spouse. Disorder isn’t a “ministry,” and God isn’t in that.

Husbands and wives: Your spouse and his/her vision for your family comes before a religious leader and his vision.

Religious leaders who encourage married couples to put them before their spouse and devote all of their resources to supporting their vision over supporting their own spouse are OUT OF ORDER.

Elders/pastors are suppose to encourage husbands and wives to be faithful to one another and support one another in their endeavors.

A wife is suppose to be her HUSBAND’S help-meet, NOT her pastor’s. The PASTOR’S WIFE is his help-meet, not married women in the congregation that he is suppose to be serving and encouraging to be faithful to their husbands.

I have seen husbands and wives shower their pastor with accolades, praise, and adoration. With a starry-eyed look, they boast about how wonderful their pastor is, how anointed and gifted he is, and how blessed they are to have such a mighty man of God in their life.

Am I saying that it’s wrong for us to compliment elders and express appreciation for them? Not at all. But there is a huge difference between giving double honor and idolatry. There is a difference between showing appreciation, and showering someone with praise and accolades as if they died on the cross for your salvation.

We should never boast in a pastor, but only in the Lord Jesus Christ and His Cross. Nor should a husband or wife compliment/honor a pastor more than they compliment/honor one another.

Pastors did not die on the Cross for our sins — Jesus did. Nor did your pastor vow to love you in sickness and in health, for better or for worse — your husband/wife did. No one deserves the fruit of our lips more than Jesus and our spouse.

I have seen husbands and wives gossip, backbite, and harshly criticize their spouse, then turn around and praise their pastor and defend him against all criticism.

So it’s okay to criticize your spouse, but your pastor is immune from all criticism?

Do you feel like your pastor is a better Christian or “more spiritual” than your spouse? Do you think that your pastor is perfect, superhuman, and doesn’t have any character flaws? He does. Surely your spouse has good qualities otherwise you wouldn’t have married them, right? So there are positive qualities that you can compliment your spouse for.

Even if you don’t think your spouse is being as godly as they can be and living up to the standard of Christ, don’t speak death, doom, and discouragement to your marriage by criticizing every short-coming and exposing all of their flaws to your friends.

Pray for and with your spouse, speak LIFE and encouragement to them. Let the law of KINDNESS be on your tongue.

Complimenting your spouse, acknowledging their positive qualities (instead of just focusing on their flaws), and showing them how much you appreciate them can bring out the best in them and invigorate your marriage.

Let your speech be seasoned with GRACE, not grumbling, complaining, and constant fault-finding. After all, you and your spouse are ONE FLESH, which means that their faults are your own and you are to share one another’s burdens which fulfills the Law of Christ.

Wives: Even if your spouse doesn’t obey the Gospel, that’s not an excuse or a justification to put him down, hold a grudge, and be contentious. God’s order for the family still stands, whether your husband is a mature Believer or not. Honor to your husband and respect him, and your godly example will speak to him without words and he will be won over by observing your pure and reverent life (1 Peter 3:1-2).

Praying couple






Idolizing your pastor, comparing your husband to your pastor, and wishing that your husband was more like your pastor borders on spiritual adultery. It is a form of lust and coveting which can create serious marital conflicts.

Why would you want your husband to be more like your pastor? God doesn’t. God wants him to be more like Jesus. You are trying to mold and shape your husband in the image of a mere mortal.

How would you feel if your husband wanted you to be like another woman? Put yourself in his shoes and do unto him as you would have him do unto you.

Another thing that I have seen is wives building inappropriate closeness and intimacy with their pastors — not sexual intimacy necessarily, but emotional and spiritual intimacy. This often happens through “pastoral counseling” and/or working closely with their pastor in ministry.

Since pastors are often viewed as the most spiritual, the most anointed, the most mature, and the most knowledgeable person in the congregation — some women see them as the first person to run to and confide in about their marriage and personal problems.

Of course, there are times when we must seek wisdom and counsel from those who are mature in the faith — I’m definitely not speaking against that. But it becomes an unhealthy co-dependency when a wife is habitually running to her pastor to confide in him rather than communicate with (and pray with) her own husband.

Your pastor should not be “that strong shoulder to lean on” every time you need someone to talk to. The LORD is our refuge, and our husband should be our first confidante. It’s also helpful to connect with a trustworthy faithful couple who will pray for and with you, and give BOTH you and your husband impartial godly counsel.

Generally speaking, pastors tend to be spread very thin. Their flesh is weak just like any other man’s. Keep that in mind.

Wives should not be running to their pastor every week for a private counseling session. Aside from Jesus, there shouldn’t be a man that a wife confides in more and cleaves to besides her own husband.

Ladies, have you turned your pastor into your personal confidante or therapist?

Take heed.

We have to use wisdom, discernment, and discretion here — when confidential information and secrets are shared with someone of the opposite sex, it can create closeness and intimacy. Combine that with the fact that our flesh is weak and God designed men and women to be attracted to one another — “pastoral counseling” can open the door to inappropriate feelings, daydreaming, and fantasizing.

It begins with a vulnerable wife seeking prayer or ” an encouraging word” from an authority figure that she admires and views as more spiritual than her husband. Next thing you know, she is reflecting on how great of a listener he is, how he always has a comforting word from the Lord, and how he’s always there for her.

With the right ingredients present, an emotional affair or even physical adultery can occur. As wives, we should keep this door closed by avoiding even the appearance of such evil.

Maybe you think your pastor isn’t like that, or you would never cheat on your husband. However, women need to understand that just because a man has a title doesn’t mean he isn’t susceptible to lust and the weaknesses of the flesh.

Just because you’re saved doesn’t mean that you’re magically immune to the possibility of using poor judgment, lack of discretion, and falling into temptation when you’re vulnerable, weak, and looking for a shoulder to lean on. . . especially a man of God’s shoulder.

I’m not saying that we should assume the worst of pastors and view them all as lust buckets who take advantage of women. What I’m saying is that we need to use discernment and wisdom whether someone is a pastor or not. We also need to have a humble and honest perspective of our flesh (it’s weaknesses) and maintain appropriate boundaries (those boundaries will vary from couple to couple) to protect our marriage and guard our heart.

Saints, I’m not drumming up scenarios that don’t exist in real life. I have ministered to numerous Believers whose marriages were damaged or destroyed because their spouse cleaved to and confided in leaders during personal “pastoral counseling” sessions. I have seen bad advice given that led to divorce, and adultery. This is one of the reasons why I firmly believe that the Lord must be our refuge and our husband should be our first confidante. If you need to speak with an outside party, I suggest that both you and your husband speak with a trustworthy faithful couple together.

Titus 2 women

Earlier I mentioned that wives also build inappropriate closeness and intimacy with their pastors by working alongside them too closely (and too often) in ministry. Before you call me an extremist, I’m not saying that men and women cannot minister together, or that women cannot assist pastors. The Scriptures clearly show women ministering to Jesus and the apostles.

The problem is when wives spend more time, energy, and resources assisting and supporting their pastor than taking care of their husbands and children. A part of the reason why this happens is because some women are taught that the “pastor’s vision” is more important than everything else, that “serving the man of God” is equal to serving God, and that church work is more important than taking care of your spouse and children. They are taught to put “the house of God” before their own household. This is a deception and a lie from the enemy. Paul wrote about such leaders — he said that they creep into the households of silly vulnerable women and take them captive. In Titus 1:11, Paul said that they subvert [overthrow, destroy] entire households by their false teaching, and they do it only for money.

Second to a wife’s covenant with Jesus Christ is her marriage covenant with her husband — not some unholy adulterous “covenant,” vow, or “partnership” that she has made with her pastor. Her first responsibility is to Jesus, then her husband and children. Marriage is so important to God that it was the first institution He ordained at Creation.

Pastors who teach married couples to put leadership and church work before their marriage and household are coming against the authority of God and usurping the authority of husbands.

Ladies don’t let anyone try to control, manipulate, and dominate your time, energy, and resources just because they have a title and a church. No pastor should be coercing you to pencil him into everyday of your weekly planner and put him before God and your own husband. Where is the PASTOR’S WIFE? And where are the DEACONS who are suppose to assist elders? Someone needs to STEP UP so that you can step down and tend to your husband and children.

There is a clear principle in Scripture that we must have our own household in order before we try to minister to people OUTSIDE of our home. That principle not only applies to elders/pastors, but to all Believers. How can you serve the pastor and build up his “vision,” institution, and finances while your marriage, children, and finances are crumbling down? What type of witness does that send to non-believers? Is that being a Proverbs 31 woman?

Proverbs 14 -1If you idolize your pastor, you are giving God’s glory and your husband’s honor to an idol. I hope that wives will repent of this grave sin and be reconciled to God and their husbands, giving both the Lord and their husbands the submission, honor, and respect that they deserve.

“Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.” (Matthew 19:6)

“For I am jealous for you with the jealousy of God Himself. I promised you as a pure bride to one husband–Christ.” (2 Corinthians 11:2)

Man sleeping in church

One of the reasons why there are not a lot of men in church (the building/institution) is because too many pastors are calling men unto themselves and trying to lord it over them.

Some brothers in the faith have found that it is hard to be a REAL MAN in many churches today because leaders are denying men their God-given ability to be men, through constant subversion and emasculation.

Once again, The head of every man is Christ.” There is no provision here for the pastor to insert himself between a man and Christ as a “spiritual covering.” There is no suggestion in Scripture for a leader to be anywhere near the head of another man. The place of the pastor is at THE FEET of the people they serve, NOT the HEAD:

“Jesus knew that the Father had given Him authority over everything and that he had come from God and would return to God. So He got up from the table, took off His robe, wrapped a towel around His waist, and poured water into a basin. Then He began to wash the disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel He had around Him. . . . After washing their feet,  He put on His robe again and sat down and asked, “Do you understand what I was doing? You call me ‘Teacher’ and ‘Lord,’ and you are right, because that’s what I am. And since I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you ought to wash each other’s feet. I have given you an example to follow. Do as I have done unto you.” (John 13:3-5, 12-15)

Jesus has ALL authority in heaven and earth, yet He humbled Himself to serve the Bride He died for. When was the last time you saw a pastor wash the feet of his people? Yet in their limited authority and titles, they want to constantly subject grown men to their “headship” and ‘authority’ demanding servitude and submission. Yet this is NOT the example Jesus gave us. Far too many husbands have been led away from their families to be at the beck and call of men in the pulpit, which is out of order. Adam where are you?

God did not change the order — a husband is to be joined to HIS WIFE and accountable to her. Not caught up in cleaving to some institution called a “church” which in many cases is a front for a man and his “kingdom” — NOT the Kingdom of Jesus Christ.

A shepherd is a servant and a steward of the Gospel, NOT a king. Yet somehow “we the people” have allowed the paradigm to be twisted. This is nothing new — remember Nimrod and Saul were men who lorded it over others to prosper themselves.

In far too many churches, we the people and the men have given up the headship in their home and decided to submit to a king posing as a pastor. Compare your pastor with Christ and king Saul and you will have the answer as to whether you have a humble SERVANT leading by example, or a king looking to be served and usurp power. Look at what God warned the people would happen when they choose a king:

“This is how a king will REIGN OVER YOU,” Samuel said. “The king will draft your sons and assign them to his chariots and his charioteers, making them run before his chariots. Some will be generals and captains in his army, some will be FORCED to plow in his fields and harvest his crops, and some will make his weapons and chariot equipment. The king will TAKE your daughters from you and FORCE them to cook and bake and make perfumes for him. He will TAKE AWAY the best of your fields and vineyards and olive groves and give them to his own officials. He will TAKE (DEMAND) a tenth (a tithe) of your grain and your grape harvest and distribute it among his officers and attendants. He will TAKE your male and female slaves and DEMAND the finest of your cattle and donkeys FOR HIS OWN USE. He will DEMAND a tenth of your flocks, and you will be HIS SLAVES.” (1 Samuel 8:11-17)

Enslaved to a pastor

If the scenario you find yourself in is “TAKE TAKE TAKE” then you have a KING and not a shepherd. Let me make it plain, I have been in churches where the pastor ALWAYS “needs” men to be at the church doing something 24/7. Whether it be a conference, a service, some men’s meeting or prayer service they are ALWAYS draining ALL YOUR TIME and resources to accomplish THEIR vision NOT God’s, because God called men/husbands to head their family FIRST.

Time cannot be allotted in two places at one time, if your pastor has you at some silly service for his needs and to feed his ego then you cannot be available to meet the needs of your wife and family during that same time frame. Men have to use discernment and discretion in these matters. You cannot be concerned about cutting the grass at church when you have your own grass to cut. Serving “kings” and their “kingdoms” of churchianity is NOT equal to serving God when the model and paradigm is out of order.

spiritual father wizardry

One of the ways that men are drawn away from their role as the head of their families is through this witchcraft and wizardry called “Spiritual Fathers” — this dogma is destroying whole households because it bewitches a man who is the head of his family to surrender his headship to another man, and thus empowers that man (“the pastor”) to rule over his family.

Jesus rebuked the scribes and Pharisees for practicing such prideful sorcery in Matthew 23, and He forbid His followers from doing such: “Don’t let anyone call you ‘Rabbi,’ for you have only one teacher, and all of you are equal as brothers and sisters. And don’t address anyone here on earth as ‘Father,’ for only God in heaven is your spiritual Father. And don’t let anyone call you ‘Teacher,’ for you have only one teacher, the Messiah. The greatest among you must be a servant.” (Matthew 23:8-11)

In the Kingdom of God, there is only ONE FATHER and ONE TEACHER in authority as our Head.  And those who want to be GREAT must be servants at the FEET of the saints.

Men must function in their God-given role as the head of their families and guard their hearts against idolatry and false shepherds who would damage and destroy their family. For the family is the model of the true body of Christ.

-In Christ

Djuan Coleon and Evelyn Hawkins